


no grave can hold my body down

by stelian



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Woodland, Asexual Character, F/F, Fae & Fairies, Fair Folk, Mental Health Issues, Nymphs & Dryads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5211494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stelian/pseuds/stelian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since Regina was a little girl, she'd heard stories of the Outside and the creatures that lived there. They would tear your head off if you got too close to them, or they'd carry you away to their homeland and slowly kill you, giggling all the while. If you ventured outside the wall, you would certainly die a slow, agonizing death.</p>
<p>And then her world shatters in one short night, and she finds herself lost in a world trying to eat her alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. want from the cherry tree

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story, and its chapters, comes from Work Song by Hozier. It's a lovely song, and it really brings out my woodland lesbian vibes. Hence this story. 
> 
> There will probably be about four to five chapters of this story, excluding the prologue. I hope you enjoy!

            Since Regina had been a little girl, she’d been told stories of the Outside and its dangers.

            There were only two parts of the world. There was the Inside, the village, the last safe haven. Home. It was small and cramped; population growth naturally led to cramped huts and homes built on top of each other until everything looked like a surreal tower. But everyone was too afraid of the forest to expand their land further.

            And then there was Outside. No one called it anything else. There was no elaborate name that children whispered at night when their parents were asleep, scaring themselves to sleep with tales of lost wanderers and children being stolen in the night. It was simply Outside. The only thing keeping Home and Outside separate was the Wall.

            The Wall was crumbling, and Home was falling to shambles.

            There was nothing they could do to stop it.

            At night, creatures swarmed the Wall. She often heard stories of the voices that haunted the guards every night. They spoke in sweet tones, dripping with kindness and warm enough to send a baby to sleep. They asked for friends and just wanted to have fun with the Inside, so why not let them in?

            Sometimes, guards snuck off and jointed the creatures.

            They were never heard from again.

            Regina couldn’t blame them for running away.

 

* * *

            Her first memory was of the hunting parties.

            Regina was small then, only old enough to peek around her mother’s skirts as she watched the parade of men and women, ringing with silver bells draped across their clothes. They wore pockets of strange smelling herbs, iron necklaces with a pouch containing clovers. At first, they would leave with their heads up, a smile on their faces; jokes would bounce back and forth between the party. It was an adventure to them. Somewhere, in their minds, they thought could best these strange creatures.

            Her mother shooed her away from the door, telling her to go play with her dolls. Regina complied, but only to gaze out the window in her bedroom. She watched them effortlessly climb over the Wall and then disappear into the thick brush of the Outside.

            In her mind, that would be her someday.

            They stayed away for ten days that seemed far longer. Regina remembers women standing by the Wall and praying for the hunters to return. By the time the last day came around, hope had all but fled their hearts.

            And then the group- well, part of it- came back, two women out of eight screaming at the Wall for help to get back inside. When the guards hoisted them over, one was bleeding profusely from the side of her neck, and the other carried a large deer in her shaking hands. Right there, the deer transformed into an ethereal woman.

            There was still a weak spot in the Wall from the chaos that had ensued.

            Only three hunting parties went out after that. The first group carried back a large supply of wood that seemed to never rot… and then the Wall faced a brutal attack that night. The second group was completely destroyed.

            The final group left when Regina was twelve. She watched her friend Ruby walk with the adults, her back ramrod straight to make it seem as though she wasn’t far younger than the rest of her group. She’d been tough; her classmates used to joke that, if anyone was going to the tame the Outside, it was Ruby. It was to no one’s surprise that she went.

            It was to everyone’s surprise that she returned alone, climbed the Wall without assistance, and nearly froze to death on the Inside before the guards found her. She was never quite the same afterwards. They said she fell ill easily, was prone to fits of mania, and utterly disappeared every few weeks. Regina never saw her after her expedition.

            After she returned, the hunting parties ceased. No one left the Inside but deserters, and nothing came in from the Outside. It was an unsteady balance.

            Regina would shake it. She knew she would.


	2. when my time comes around

            Every child was put on guard duty starting when they were sixteen, and were rotated through it for the rest of their lives. The result was a never-ending supply of exhausted, weary villagers falling asleep on top of the Wall when they were supposed to be watching it.

            Regina had always found it ridiculous. Even if the appointed guards actually paid attention to the Outside (She had never heard of that happening. Ever), there was nothing they could do to stop an attack from the Outside. Perhaps they were just there to be a sacrifice to potentially slow the onslaught of creatures.

            Actually, the more she thought about it, the more likely that theory was. Wonderful.

            “Help me up?” she asks the boy who climbed ahead of her to reach their designated stations. In the past, they had been things of glory protecting from a desolate future; now, they’re little more than a useless walled-in circle with a useless fire pit. If something were to happen, all they would be able to do is scream and _perhaps_ the village would hear them. More likely, the cows would listen as they died at the hands of the creatures.

            It was not a very inviting future.

            Daniel hoists her up easily, and they find a seat on the edge of the Wall. With her feet dangling off above the Outside, there’s a thrill in the pit of Regina’s stomach. Something could easily happen to her, but then she looks up and the stars are far brighter than they are in the village, and she can hear the songs of the Outside, and the boy beside her smiles…

            It’s some of the happiest she’s felt in a long time.

            “It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?” he asks, with a genuinely bright smile on his face illuminated by the moonlight. Daniel grew up on one of the few farms still occupying the outer edges of the Inside; to him, tonight was like all of the other nights.

            “It is,” she says, her eyes focused on the sprawling expanse of forest ahead of her. “Far prettier than the interior is.” She pauses, then adds, “You know, for all that they say about the Outside being dangerous, it sure seems nice out here.” Another pause. “Maybe a bit loud, though.”

            There’s a soft puff of air beside her, and she can hear the disbelief in Daniel’s voice when he says, “Loud? I don’t hear anything.”

            She listens, focuses on nothing else but the Outside beyond her. With nothing else to focus on, it’s almost deafening. Childlike giggles, the flit of tiny wings, ethereal songs of other worlds, animals calling to each other in human-like tongues…

            It’s chaotic, but it’s beautiful.

            Regina sighs. “Maybe you’re just more used to noise than I am.”

            They sit in silence for a while, and then she feels him place his hand on top of hers. “You’re awfully cold.”

            Regina draws her shawl in around her shoulders. “Maybe a little bit,” she says. With that, he draws her closer, wraps an arm around her shoulders until they’re sharing the same heat.

            “Is this okay?” he mutters.

            She closes her eyes. Smiles. For the first time in a long time, she seeks to further her contact with another human being and leans in his arms.

            “Very much.”

 

            They’re on guard duty together for a week. Each night, the air gets colder, and they get progressively closer to each other.

            It’s nice. It really is. Maybe she finds herself getting too close, but she doesn’t mind. It’s like drinking warm milk on a cold night: harmless, and makes you feel better inside and out.

            She repeats that to herself every morning when she returns home.

 

            A few months later, she goes to Daniel’s home. During the day, it’s almost unsettlingly quiet, the snow on the ground muffling nearly every sound from the Inside and the Outside. She meets his mother, a kindly yet sickly woman, and says hello to each of his many siblings.

            When he promises to walk her home, they find themselves in the barn instead.

            He’s close. Very close.

            She wants it.

            But she doesn’t.

            _But she does. She really does._

She loves him. She really does.

            _She loves him, she loves him, she loves him…_

 

            She doesn’t tell her mother. Her mother likes control, order, and luxury. If she found out her daughter’s fling with a farmer with little to his name…

            Regina doesn’t think about it.

            She washes the smell of the barn from her clothes, feeling pleasantly warm yet also strange in a way she can’t describe, takes a deep breath, and takes a step downstairs.

            There’s a man in her living room, her mother sitting in the torn chair perhaps to hide its disarray. They stop their conversation to look at her, in her plain brown dress, and the smile her mother gives her freezes her everywhere at once.

            _She knows, she knows, she knows._

“Regina,” her mother says with a warm voice that she knows is hiding so much, “This is Leopold.”

            She doesn’t move.

            “Well, come say hello!”

 

            Regina is to be married.

            She is to be married to a wealthy man who will provide for her and her mother so they will be safe for the rest of their lives, even from the Outside, who she does not love, who will love her in ways she doesn’t want.

            Her hands shake.

 

            “Well, you’ll never have to set foot on one of those smelly farms again, will you!” her mother says, her smile colder than the one of the woman who emerged from the deer all those years ago.

 

            Regina runs.

 

            She finds the body half-hidden in the snow, torn apart, the heart pulled from the body and resting alone on red-colored snow.

 

            She weeps.

            Her mother laughs.

           

            Her wedding occurs only a week later, and she is draped in a fine gown that was probably made decades ago. Her mother tells her she looks lovely.

            She curls her hand into a fist so tight her knuckles turn white.

            They parade her though the village. People come out to watch her procession, cooing over how lovely she looks. Weddings are a rarity these days. They give everyone hope of a longer existence.

            At the end, she is lifted onto the Wall and into a guard pit. She thinks her mother chose the location just to mock her. Vows are exchanged to the witness of the Outside and its creatures, and Leopold kisses her just like _he had_ and she bites her lip to keep herself contained.

            She asks him for a moment with her mother, and he gladly obliges.

            “Is this what you wanted?” Regina asks her, and her mother only smiles.

            “Think about our future! We’re so much more secure now. You’ve got a lovely husband who loves you and will provide for you forever. You won’t even have to worry about the Outside. It’ll be wonderful.”

            Regina feels the beginning of tears in the corner of her eyes, but she wills them down. She must be strong.

            “Oh, dear, why are you so melancholy? This is a joyous day! If only you would stop feeling sorry for yourself, just for one day-“

            “I’ve had it with you!” she shouts, taking a step forward. “Do you even _care_ about what you’ve done?”

            “Not if it’s brought us such a great future,” her mother says, reaching her hands up to cup Regina’s face. “I did it for your own sake. Someday, you’ll thank me.”

            Something surges within her.

            Regina lets the tears come until she’s sobbing into her mother’s shoulder, and she can _feel_ the smugness in her body, and then she takes another step forward, taking her mother with her-

            Puts her hands on her shoulders-

            Pushes, and pulls herself away-

           

Cora doesn’t even recognize what’s happening when she falls.

 

            Regina freezes, and then she can hear Leopold running towards her.

            It’s too dark to see, but she knows the body’s gone already. By the way the sounds of Outside swell, she knows they’ve found a fresh offering, a new plaything to take to their land and do what they wish to. There’s absolutely no doubt to what will happen next.

            _I killed my mother, I killed my mother, I killed my mother-_

_Oh GOD why-_

She doesn’t even think.

            She jumps over the Wall and into the Outside.           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is the point where I should point out that I'm not very familiar with Once Upon A Time anymore, oops! If there are any inconsistencies with canon, please let me know! It's been a very long time since I've watched the first few seasons, which are mostly what this is based on.


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